


Safety in Falsehood

by enjolras_lexa



Series: Flowershop ‘Verse [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Awkward Romance, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale's Bookshop, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Cute Ending, Eventual Romance, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, How Do I Tag, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining Crowley, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Spies & Secret Agents, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-05-19 17:52:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19361746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjolras_lexa/pseuds/enjolras_lexa
Summary: The florist!Crowley AU no one asked for and everybody probably already wrote. Aziraphale’s bookshop burned down and now he needs a new cover job, ends up being hired by Crowley. Neither of them knows the other isn’t human. Cue romance.Title from the song Bare from bare: a pop opera.Just edited and changed some stuff, as I like to do  :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope this is good? It’s pretty short but hopefully good?

 

Aziraphale was perched on the doorstep, the noise from the traffic and bustling crowds on the busy street behind him in the background. He read the sign above the door, double checked the address on the map he’d printed out, and entered. It was understandable why he'd been confused. It was easily the most dismal-looking flower shop he’d ever seen in his (very long) life.

The sign said ‘A. J. Crowley Flower Shop and Reptile-Amphibian Orphanage’, and the door as well as the walls once inside were painted jet black with intricate silver designs on them. Aziraphale looked around the dimly lit shop at the plants that were flourishing despite the small amount of sunlight that managed to penetrate the gloom, and the lizards and snakes and frogs and toads in various tanks. He was admiring an iguana when he heard a loud cough.

He turned to see the man who must be the owner, as he was the only employee in the room, but he was the most bizarre florist Az had ever seen. He went perfectly however with the bizarre flower shop.  

He had long red hair and was dressed head to toe in black leather, which Aziraphale could verify because he was reclining back at a precarious angle on his stool with both booted feet propped up on the cash register. His limbs looked far too long to be allowed. He looked bemusedly at Az, one eyebrow raised inquisitively over the top of his black sunglasses.

“Can I help you?” the florist drawled sarcastically. Az pretended not to notice his rude tone. He was an angel after all. 

“Yes actually,” he said brightly. “I saw your notice online and I would like to apply for a job! Mister... Crawley is it?”

“Would you now.”

Aziraphale nodded. The florist seemed to give him a shrewd once-over, though it was hard to tell with those dark sunglasses covering his face.

“It’s Crowley,” he corrected. Az decided to take that as a sign of approval.

Az walked briskly over to the counter and slid over his resume (most of which was miracled and therefore fictitious, except one entry). Az thought with a twinge of his dear old bookshop. It would take millennia to assemble a collection like that again. 

“Aziraphale?” Crowley pronounced carefully.

“Yes.”

“Odd name, isn’t it?”

“Old English,” Az explained (lied). “Been in the family for ages.” More like Az had been around for ages, not that the human could know. He was incognito, an angelic force of good representing the Almighty on earth. He was only ever-so-slightly self-righteous about it.  

“You owned a bookshop?”

“Yes.”

“Wha’ happened to it?”

 _Burnt down_ , Az thought regretfully.

“Had to sell it,” he said instead, keeping his tone cheerful. “Costs a lot to keep a shop open, as I’m sure you know. Bit quiet here, isn’t it?”

“It’s fine,” Crowley said coldly, apparently unperturbed by the lack of customers.

Az wouldn’t have been surprised if he drove them all away with his unpleasantness.

“Reptile orphanage?” Az ventured.

Crowley nodded. “For adoption. Pets, familiars, that sort of thing,” he said tersely.

“Oh that’s lovely!” Az enthused. “Simply wonderful.”

Crowley pursed his lips in silent objection. “When can you start?”

Az was visibly surprised. “Just like that?”

“Got to hire someone, haven’t I?” Crowley snapped. “Tomorrow afternoon?”

“Alright then.” The angel beamed, reaching out to shake Crowley’s hand. At first he thought he would be refused, but then the florist took it. His hand was cold, but not unpleasantly. “Tickety-boo.”

“Tickety-boo?” Crowley enunciated disdainfully.

Az didn’t let his smile falter. “See you tomorrow then. Say around 1?” He gave a little wave, then marched briskly off to his flat again without waiting for an answer. 

 _Well that went well_ , he thought to himself. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are all going to be a bit short it would seem. Oops.

 

Crowley went about his ordinary routine the next morning, resolutely not thinking about Aziraphale. Ever since the man had bumbled into the demon’s shop it had been Crowley’s main difficulty, finding other things to think about. He wasn’t turning out to be very good at it. 

But immortality is so overrated, and unbearably boring. He’d spent a good century or so asleep, for everything’s sake! He’d met just about every celebrity or notable figure throughout history, and tempted a few for that matter.

He might not be very competent at his job as a demon, but everyone Downstairs agreed that he’d done remarkable work with the pop-up ads and the buffering YouTube videos, even if most demons didn’t fully grasp the near-homicidal rage that accidentally clicking on an unwanted advert caused on an hourly basis. Got him a promotion, that had, or would’ve done if there’d been anywhere to promote him to. Maybe he’d get a star one day all to himself.All those little accounts too that each need their own password with about thirty characters each. He liked to say the twenty-first century was the best, at least in terms of giving him a creative outlet. Autocorrect (his idea) got the better of him on an hourly basis however. 

But anyhow, the shop was good. Took his mind off things like eternity. But that human-The ridiculous human had conned him into giving him the job, Crowley was sure of it. Crowley was a demon, he didn’t do nice things like hire unqualified people who needed jobs. Aziraphale had had a bookshop that had apparently gone belly-up, for Go- For Satan’s sake. He’d probably go running out the door when it was his turn to feed the snakes.

No one ever came in anyway, due to some demonically-miraculous persuasion tactics on Crowley’s part. Well, no need to tell him that the plants were there to relieve his aggression (not to be sold), and that the reptiles were there....not because Crowley liked them. He didn’t, _not at all_ , it wasn’t his fault they kept seeking refuge here! All ‘it’s miserable out’ and ‘a toddler screamed when she saw me’ and ‘someone bought me at the pet shop and threw me outside when I got too big’. What was he supposed to do, shoot them?

All too soon, it was one o’clock sharp and Aziraphale entered smartly through the door.

“Oh fuck,” Crowley muttered.

“Hello! Lovely day isn’t it?” Aziraphale said brightly. Too bloody brightly.

Crowley gestured vaguely outside at the torrential downpour. Oddly enough Aziraphale didn’t even seem damp.

“Oh well,” Az went on, “It’s nice to get a good bit of rain now and again. Cleans it all out, doesn't it? Shall I start?”

Crowley set him up with a water spritzer and some flowers, resisting Az’s cheerfulness and definitely not finding it charming. It was irritating at best. He also tried very hard not to think about the Great Storm from long ago and all those poor people who’d drowned. Rain always made him remember that, so he was screwed considering how much it rained in Britain.

Crowley set himself up with a book at the counter. Delegating only made sense when there was actual work to be done though, so he mostly found himself observing Az with disgust.

“Hello darlings,” the insufferable human was cooing unselfconsciously at a rosebush. “Aren’t you beautiful!”

Well that wouldn’t do at all. Crowley would just have to shout at them extra forcefully after Aziraphale left to make up for it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like, comment, and sub! (If you want) 
> 
> Let me know if you don’t think this is rubbish i guess??  
> \- EL


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun with this asdfghjkl 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who commented, it’s gone right to my head and I’m insufferable now <3 love you guys

 

Aziraphale’s first week at A. J. Crowley Flower Shop and Reptile-Amphibian Orphanage was hectic to say the least.

Not because of the work, of which there was very little really (Az kept having to perform minor miracles to get customers in the shop at all. He might not need the money but Crowley probably did. How humans manage at all without magic Az would never know) but because of Crowley himself.

For starters, he shouted at the plants.

It had happened when Crowley sent Az out to fetch coffee, which he had pretended to do and instead miracled Crowley’s sickeningly sweet iced frappacino order and a cup of tea for himself into existence.

He snuck inside again by teleporting himself into the back room to wait until an appropriate amount of time had passed, but when he heard raised voices he made himself invisible and peered around the door to see what the matter was.

”That I will not stand for. I WON’T. How many times do I have to tell you I will not tolerate these disgusting screw-ups?! Do you realize how pathetic it is to have to look at you lot all day?! _Vile_!” 

Turns out, it was just Crowley. Shouting at a poor geranium as though it had done him a serious personal wrong.

“You stupid thing! It’s disappointing but I’m used to your incompetence by now, you always were the weak link. You call those flowers? You’re lucky I don’t turn you into mulch! _Pathetic_ , all of you! A spot! A fucking brown spot! What did I tell you! You’re on thin fucking ice, you useless weed! THIN. FUCKING. ICE.”

Crowley stamped off God only knew where, so Az tentatively crept out from the back room. Thankfully the offending plant was still there. With the way Crowley has shouted at it Az wouldn’t be surprised if he had gone off to have it incinerated. No wonder no one ever came in here.

Az picked up the flowerpot. The poor little thing was shaking (immortal beings were of course quite sensitive to the emotions of plants and animals).

“There, it’s all right,” Az soothed it. It flinched when he spoke. “Poor darling! He’s just got a bit worked up. Don’t listen to him. You did nothing wrong, you hear me? Nothing wrong at all. Poor little soul. You’ve got beautiful flowers. I know you’re just trying your best and I’m very proud of you.” He gave one of the blossoms a quick kiss and set it back down.

Crowley cleared his throat from behind him.

“Ah, Crowley,” Az greeted him. He wasn’t sure how much the man had overheard, but he decided to pretend as though he hadn’t heard anything at all. “Your coffee’s just over there, shouldn’t have melted yet.”

Crowley sipped his drink suspiciously. “It’s perfect,” he said monotonously before going off to feed the snakes and lizards.

“Thank goodness,” Az murmured with a quick grateful glance at the heavens.

 

 ______

 

Another irritating habit of Crowley’s was that he drove like a drunk lunatic. Az was now not only worried for the human’s blood pressure but also his bodily safety. The flashy black car zipped through three stoplights and made a hairpin turn sharp enough to make Az’s head spin. At least if they died in a fiery wreck he could get another body, but discorporation was so wretchedly  _inconvenient_. And he couldn’t have poor Crowley risking his life, even if the madman was despicable to plants.

“Crowley,” Aziraphale began authoritatively, “ _Slow down_. Slow. The car. Down.”

“Or what?” Crowley bantered.

“Or I’ll vomit,” Az threatened.

It was a good guess. Crowley had probably never looked so shocked in his life. “You wouldn’t. Not in this car.”

“Yes in the car,” said Aziraphale casually. “Vomit. Great puddles of it. Sushi everywhere. It would be quite horrid. Rather horrible indeed.” No need for him to know that as an angel Az wasn’t physically capable of vomiting, but with Crowley behind the wheel he might start.

After a moment’s hesitation in which Crowley appeared to be wrestling with his judgement and evaluating his options, he gently and wordlessly applied the brake.

“Thank you,” Az said primly.

“Shuttup,” Crowley said, unkindly.

“No really, I’m very grateful.”

Crowley glared through the windscreen. “Probably for the best,” he muttered begrudgingly. “Not used to driving with hum-“ he cut himself off with a loud hacking cough. “Employees,” he finished as though nothing had happened. “You’re not under my...whatsit....insurance! If we crash you’ll probably.....sue or something.”

“Or we could die,” Az pointed out.

“Oh. Right. Death,” Crowley said oddly. “Mortal- mortally wounded I mean. Permanently dead. Oh yes. Of course. Quite bad, that.”

Az would’ve asked what on heaven and earth he was playing at, but Crowley did a sharp and unexpected left turn without signalling and he thought better of it. Probably shouldn’t distract him. God only knew how he’d gotten his license, assuming he had one. It would’ve taken a miracle.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention how shocked and happy I was about all the kudos and comments??? Great thing to wake up to <3 
> 
> Guess that’s what it’s like writing for a popular fandom instead of obscure musicals (although feel free to check those out if you’d be so kind). 
> 
> So like....thank you all so much!!!!
> 
> Feel free to come shout at me about it on tumblr, it’s the same username (enjolras_lexa)


	4. Chapter 4

 

Crowley watched Az water the plants as he absentmindedly offered one of the larger snakes a dead mouse. They’d gotten into a good rhythm of Crowley relinquishing control over the plants so Az wouldn’t hurt himself trying to feed and care for the reptiles, and Crowley yelling at the plants for a good twenty minutes after Az had gone. They were growing less and less intimidated however, with the way Az treated them.

 _Spoiled them_ , Crowley thought bitterly. He definitely was not jealous of the attention they got. Not. At. All. 

The snake snatched the mouse from Crowley’s hand, accidentally nibbling on the end of his fingertip. Crowley cured the bite with a thought and stroked the top of the snake’s head, still watching the silly human putter around the flowers.

 

“Where do they all come from?” Az had asked about a week or so ago.

_Oh, you know, they come here like it’s a hotel because I used to be a snake and they’re drawn to the place._ “Abandoned pets mostly,” he’d answered instead. It was only half a lie. He didn’t keep them all of course. The odd one really did get adopted, provided Crowley approved of the owner (if he had to intimidate and threaten those useless mortals into properly caring for their pets than by Satan he would.). 

 

“There you are, isn’t that nice? You look especially pretty today,” the human muttered under his breath, thinking himself safely out of earshot.

Crowley suppressed a growl.

He turned too quickly and knocked a crystal vase of roses off the counter, which shattered into about a million pieces. He swore and knelt, picking them up one at a time. 

Az rushed over.

“Are you all right?” He grabbed Crowley’s hands and checked them for cuts. 

“Yeah, it’s fine, s’nothing,” Crowley waved him off. “Go get a broom from the back,” he ordered, forgetting he didn’t own any cleaning supplies at all as he usually just miracled everything. He watched Az hurry off, and assessed the damage.

He couldn’t fix the vase, Aziraphale would get suspicious,but he could still do something. With a quick glance behind him, he waved a hand and gathered up all the little tiny shards and glass dust until it appeared as though the vase had broken cleanly into six or seven large pieces. He frowned, and broke them all into halves so it would be a bit more believable.

He was quite proud of himself. It was rather a good idea. 

Az rushed back in with a broom (it had formerly been a book on gardening, but Crowley didn’t need to know).

“I’m going out,” Crowley announced abruptly, straightening up again. “There really isn’t much glass. Can you manage?” He’d basically saved them both hours of sweeping and vacuuming after all.

“Sure,” Az agreed cheerfully. “That’s pretty lucky, you must’ve nearly caught it on the way down and broken its fall.”

Crowley nodded, grateful for the normal human excuse, and sauntered off.

He would never admit that the plants looked better than ever with all the praise they’d been getting. Never!

 

________

  

Aziraphale usually either brought his lunch and ate it in the shop, or (in his words) ‘popped out for a quick bite’ when he got ‘peckish’. It seemed no matter what he was always precisely on time.

Crowley on the other hand didn’t eat, usually making some excuse about having eaten earlier or not being hungry. Being a demon, he of course didn’t need to eat at all, and he usually preferred not to bother unless it was a special occasion. There had been an excellent spot for crepes in France that he’d gone to far too often, but unfortunately it had closed a few centuries ago. Once an immortal being got into the habit of eating regularly, or any bodily function like sex and elimination, the body began expecting it and got very upset about not being fed. So Crowley left well enough alone. Humans, on the other hand....

“Really Crowley, you’ve got to eat something,” Az scolded. He had brought his own lunch, sushi takeaway in a plastic Tupperware with a watermelon design on it. “And don’t make any excuses, I can tell you haven’t had anything all day. It’s not healthy.”

 _He can tell that? Stupid humans. They care far too much about ridiculous things_ , Crowley ranted internally. “I don’t want anything.”

“Have a piece of sushi,” Az insisted.

Crowley grimaced. _Well, it’s just a piece. Can’t hurt._ He took it reluctantly between his thumb and forefinger, dipped it in soy sauce and popped it in his mouth, miraculously avoiding any stains to his expensive clothing. He chewed, swallowed, and resisted the impulse to gag as his body tried to reject the sustenance.

“Horrible,” he pronounced. “Not to my taste at all. I don’t know how hum- people eat....that stuff.” It had actually tasted incredible, but his digestive organs weren’t taking kindly to working again after decades of rest. They hadn’t even had to process alcohol as Crowley always sobered himself up before bed to avoid human consequences like a hangover.

He miracled away the stomachache before it had a chance to happen. 

“Well you should eat something,” Az insisted, rummaging around and producing a pack of biscuits that had definitely not been there before. “Have a couple.”

“Where’d those come from?” Crowley gestured suspiciously.

Az took the question in stride. “Amateur magician.” He shook the package aggressively.

Crowley couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not, but he took about five anyway and disappeared into the back room. He wouldn’t eat them of course, but he took a little bite of one just to savour the taste of dark chocolate before miraculously turning them into a small cactus. He knew in the back of his mind that he wouldn’t have the heart to terrorize it, if only because Aziraphale had (indirectly) given it to him.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

Az flinched as Crowley manoeuvred the Bentley through the city, narrowly missing a brush with discorporation as by his count they nearly crashed about eighty different ways. A mailbox, a street sign, a lamppost, and a cyclist had all been miraculously saved from being obliterated by a contraption more alike a dragon than a car. Az was beginning to get a bit nauseous. He would never understand how humans could possibly find cars attractive. 

“Speed demon,” Aziraphale muttered under his breath. Crowley jumped about a foot in the air.

“What?” Crowley croaked.

The angel looked at him oddly. Az didn’t know what the matter with him was but if they didn’t stop soon he was going to teleport right out of here and leave Crowley to perish alone.

Well no, of course he’d never, but Crowley aggravated him to his wits’ end. He barely knew the man and already his irritating little habits were anything but endearing. “Crowley, pull over.”

Crowley looked at him askance, then obeyed however reluctantly. He put the blinkers on. “What is it? Is something the matter?”

“Oh, so they _do_ work?” Aziraphale exclaimed sarcastically. “What about the brakes? Did you learn to drive from violent video games as a child? Get out.”

“Wha’?”

“ _Out_! I’ll drive. I’m a lot safer than you.”

“You’ll _what_?!”

Az shooed him out, ignoring his protests, and shifted over to the driver’s seat. He wrinkled his brow in concentration.

He hadn’t lied, he _was_ a good driver, a _very_ good driver, it was just that he’d gotten his license back in 1951 and he hadn’t done much driving since. It was good it was a vintage car, the newer models were so confusing. Far too many buttons and knobs and switches and the like. Anything non-living that understood you when you spoke was a creation of Hell and no mistake.

He deliberated for a moment, then switched off the signals, started the car, looked behind him, miracled his path clear of obstacles, and indicated as he merged into the lane. There, just like he remembered!

“Where are we going anyway?” Az asked the heap of rain-sodden black clothing in the passenger seat. 

Crowley sat sulking next to him, wincing whenever Aziraphale so much as slightly increased the speed and seeming to be in the middle of an earnest prayer not to let his employee crash his car.

 _Foul little hypocrite_ , Az thought harshly.

“Deliveries. An orchid, a toad, and a fern. Not all to the same address. Plus a family phoned asking me to take their mouse colony that’s been living in the attic. They’re all rounded up in a cage already, we’ve just got to take them in.” They 

“You don’t shelter rodents,” Aziraphale pointed out.

“I know. The snakes’ll love ‘em though.”

Aziraphale made a face. “That’s a good amount of errands,” he said with a frown. “It’s raining again too.”

“No it isn’t,” Crowley said decisively. Sure enough, in the next few minutes or so the sky that had been threatening to downpour cleared up. “And it’s your fault for being so good at selling things.”

Az scowled. “It is not my fault that we’re in this death trap! Get yourself killed one day with the way you drive.”

“My guardian angel,” Crowley drawled sardonically.

It was Aziraphale’s turn to jump.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you enjoyed this nonsense!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing for Crowley <3 enjoy!

 

Crowley hummed along to Another One Bites The Dust as he magicked his apartment until it was not merely clean but sterile.A lot of the decor was set by miracle to repel dust and dirt on its own, but even he was not immune to the disgusting mix of fallen hair (and in his case fallen wing feathers), dead skin cells, and lint that coated the bathroom tiles and wedged itself into balls in the crevices between pieces of furniture.

Consequences of having a semi-human body, he surmised. Horrid things. He waved a hand through the air over the mess, feeling the catharsis grow as it vanished into the void.

Once the entire apartment was spotless (taking approximately three minutes; how in heaven and hell do the humans manage?) Crowley stripped off his clothes (magically dry-cleaning them as he did so), folded them neatly, and hopped into the shower. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror on the way, noting with clinical precision that everything looked normal. Being a demon he didn’t have to deal with things like death or sickness (or pimples). The only thing marking him as different from most immortal beings was that he had.....er.....made an effort so to speak. Food wasn’t worth the upkeep, but sex on the other hand- Well he didn’t need it of course, but it was nice every other century or so.

He (obviously) turned the dial to maximum heat, sighing in relief as the steam cleared his sinuses and the water scalded him clean. He scrubbed himself as sterile as the apartment with a scratchy brush and floral-scented shower gel, then came the hard part. He released his wings, having already miraculously enlarged the width of his shower several decades ago to accommodate them. He groaned as the hot water sluiced over them in a way that was almost painful, letting the pressure erode away at the bits of dust and dirt that got caught in between the shiny black feathers. Afterwards he washed his long red hair with matching shampoo until it was perfectly clean and in fragrant ringlets above his shoulders.

Maybe I should cut it short, he thought to himself. A little voice in the back of his mind wondered what Aziraphale would think of it. It was a voice he usually dismissed with a harsh insult, but it had only gotten louder and more persistent.

It was starting to resemble his ‘guardian angel’ himself with all the nagging. Annoying. Of course he wasn’t going to ask Aziraphale.

 

_________

 

“What do you think of my hair?” The question just slipped out. “Should I cut it?”

They had been twiddling their thumbs essentially all day behind the counter. They hadn’t had a customer all day, and had been talking about Aziraphale’s favourite books when Crowley’s mouth spoke of its own accord. Crowley swore at himself silently. 

Az looked at him, apparently assessing the situation. “It’s very nice,” he said thoughtfully, “It rather suits you I think. Is it as soft as it looks?”

Crowley swallowed his shock. Why in heav- hell- on Earth would he ask such a question? Did he not realize how strange that was? “I don’t know. I’m used to it.”

Aziraphale scooted closer on his swivel chair. For a moment Crowley thought he was going to touch his hair, but he just peered around his head for a bit. Crowley kept his focus on not squirming under the attention. 

“Short might be nice too,” he said finally, moving away and putting space between them again. “Up to you really.”

“Oh, okay.” Crowley didn’t know what to say.

Aziraphale made to get up. “I should get going if that’s alright. I’m sorry to leave early but it’s dead quiet in here and I’ve...er.... got to see a friend.”

“Sure, no problem,” Crowley said immediately. Maybe without Aziraphale around he would be able to think clearly. “What friend? I don’t remember you mentioning anyone?”

Az grimaced. “Oh Gabriel, he’s- maybe _friend_ isn’t the right word. In any case I’d better go.”

Crowley nodded as though he understood, but something occurred to him. If he was going to say it at all, he’d better tell him soon, before the human went off with someone else. Immortals could take it slow, but humans had short lives and moved between partners quickly. ‘Friend but not a friend’ sounded far too much like an ex for his comfort level.

“Aziraphale wait!” he called just as he was leaving.

He turned around quickly. “Yes? What is it?”

“Oh, erm, I was wondering- Could I tempt you to a spot of lunch tomorrow?”

Az’s face broke into a bright smile. “Of course! That sounds lovely.”

“It would be a date,” Crowley added hastily. _I’ve seduced humans before, why am I so bad at this? He’s going to say no. Of course he’ll say no. Maybe he isn’t even.....gay? Is that the word humans use now?_ “I was asking you on a date. Lunch. Tomorrow. Afternoon.” _Shut up. Prat._

Aziraphale studied him carefully. Crowley felt like he could see straight past his sunglasses and into his demon soul, could see he wasn’t worthy and never would be. “Alright then,” he said. “See you tomorrow!”

Crowley watched as he disappeared outside, then took his sunglasses off and put his head in his hands. Going on a date with a mortal- he hadn’t done that since- since- 1923! This was going to be a disaster, he was sure of it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support! See you next time!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support!🥰🥰🥰 you guys are perfect angels (or demons, depending on personal preference I suppose) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy !

 

Aziraphale glanced up at Crowley as they were studying the dessert menu at the little cafe they were sitting at, and tried not to look too smitten.

“What do you think?” Crowley asked him as he scanned the menu through his sunglasses.

“Not sure,” Az answered. “I’m still a bit peckish, but I don’t know what I want.” He felt a bit silly.After all, he barely knew the man. And he wasn’t even sure if he _liked_ him at all, let alone cared for him romantically.

 _It would’ve been rude to say no_ , he told himself for the hundredth time. 

They would just have lunch, perfectly casual, and Az could simply politely refuse if Crowley asked him out again. He could say that he’d had a lovely time, but it would be.....what was that word the humans used in times like these? Unprofessional! That was it.

 _It was lovely to see you, but it wouldn’t be very professional of us_ , Az composed in his head.

Crowley had barely eaten, and Az had been so nervous neither had he. So they’d talked. Quite a lot. About....well nothing in particular. It had all been rather lovely.

All of it had been cleared with Heaven first of course. All dutifully by the book and reported to AR (Angel Resources). Az wasn’t using his angelic powers to seduce him, the mortal had approached _him_ and not the other way round, the mortal would never know he was an angel, no Heavenly light or promises of the afterlife would be revealed, etc. etc. etc. Az had signed so many forms his hand had throbbed for an hour afterwards. It was, pardon the expression, a big pain in the neck.

 _But so worth it_ , a small voice in the back of Az’s head whispered. _So very worth it._

He’d had, ahem, _encounters_ with mortals before, he wasn’t ashamed to admit it. Nothing sinful about experiencing sensual pleasure. Immortal beings were far less prudish about that sort of thing than the mortals were. He was inhabiting a human body and so occasionally came across human needs. It was all part of the Earth experience, more a form of research than enjoyment.

But he’d never been on a date. Not even once. He was pressed to admit he’d been missing out. And of course he wouldn’t push anything further onto Crowley, he was a mortal after all and probably wanted to take things a bit slow.

Not that things would ever go beyond this one lunch of course. Definitely not worth all the paperwork. The last time he’d done that (it must’ve been in the 1890’s, lovely fellow) he’d had so many forms to sign afterwards he’d miracled away his wrists for a full night just to get a reprieve from the pain.

But just- Just _that_ wouldn’t be much bother, would it? Heaven wouldn’t even need to know, it was so minor. Barely more than a handshake. 

Az wet his lips and moved a bit closer in his chair to Crowley’s. He shyly placed his hand on top of the mortal’s, feeling pleased when the man flushed and looked up at him. It was a shame he always wore those sunglasses, but Aziraphale was too polite to ask him to remove them. 

“Could we- er-“ Crowley mumbled.

Aziraphale gently cupped his jaw and kissed him, making sure to limit the effect of his powers so as not to overwhelm him. He also tried very hard not to notice the flashes of-

Crowley hummed against his lips.

It was all very chaste as they were in public, barely even a peck. But it was nice. Very nice.

Az broke the kiss before either of them got too carried away. “Dessert?” He asked abruptly.

“Oh- er- uh- sure!” Crowley agreed. Az stifled a small giggle at how flustered he was (the objective observer would notice that Az wasn’t exactly composed either, but in any case).

“Chocolate cake?” Aziraphale suggested. “To share?”

“Why not,” Crowley settled it. “Could die tomorrow after all.”

 _Yes_ , the angel thought wistfully. _That’s rather the problem._

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

Crowley spent the evening after their date in a happy daze.

He figured he had enough euphoria from that one afternoon to keep him going for the next couple decades at least. Az’s entire face had lit up with joy when he’d seen Crowley, like he was the only person in the world who mattered. It terrified Crowley even as it made him fiercely loyal to him, he wanted to move Heaven and Hell to please him and keep him safe.

What did anything else matter? Good and evil, Heaven and Hell, the Almighty and Satan; it was all so arbitrary. Earth mattered, it was real, it was concrete, life here had weight. Being with Aziraphale felt real in a way that nothing else had to him for ages.

They had probably looked very ordinary from an outsider’s point of view. Just a perfectly normal date between two perfectly normal humans, or so Az probably thought. It was all a blur to him now. The talking, the kiss, even managing to make his body take in some food, getting to know Az outside of work, his trusting smile; it came back to him in flashes now.

It had all felt surreal. Like he was stealing an afternoon from someone else’s life, someone who wasn’t a demon, someone who hadn’t fallen from Heaven, someone who was halfway worth being with. Crowley lay in bed that night and felt the high that came from being with Az finally fade away into a mixture of calm contentment and useless longing.

Usually he felt like he was considered a failure by both sides, too bad to be an angel and not bad enough to be a demon. Totally incompetent no matter how you looked at it. He almost wished he’d never fallen in the first place, but he would have made a terrible angel. Az didn’t look at him like he was a failed angel, or a demon who wasn’t evil enough and never would be. Of course he didn’t, the poor man thought he was human.

That was the problem, that was why he had to soak up every detail of that one date. There could never be a second.

Crowley had sat there and lied to him. Couldn’t even take off his sunglasses and look him in the eye. Crowley was despicable.

 

_______

 

 

The next morning, Crowley was going through his usual routine about the shop. Watering plants, feeding animals, magically tidying away any speck of dirt that dared to exist on his property. Aziraphale had said he wouldn’t be able to come in until early afternoon, so he was taking advantage of his alone time while he had it. Being around Az could be torturous sometimes, he was always so self-conscious and nervous around him.

He hadn’t bothered with sunglasses, they were on the counter all ready for when he would need them later. He let his wings loose, relishing airing them out and having a good stretch. No one came in the shop, of course. No one except Aziraphale himself.

“Crowley-“

Crowley whirled around when he saw him, snatching his sunglasses off the counter, but it was too late. “Aziraphale, I can explain-“

“What are you?” Aziraphale looked at him like he was fragile, it made Crowley feel so vulnerable. It made him feel unworthy.

He didn’t deny it, didn’t insist he was a person. He didn’t want to lie to him anymore. “I’m a demon. You don’t have to be afraid-“

“I’m not.” And then something extraordinary happened. Two white angel wings appeared from Aziraphale’s back. He seemed to give off this light that reminded Crowley what Heaven had been like.

The angel- Aziraphale, crossed the room in two quick strides and plucked the sunglasses off Crowley’s face. They were looking at each other for the first time, Az was seeing him, his eyes and his wings, and he wasn’t running. He wasn’t afraid of him because they were the same, or had been once.

“So,” Aziraphale said, breaking the silence. “We, we’re both-“

“Morons.” Crowley finished. “Complete and total morons.”

Aziraphale smiles. “Yes. Yes, I suppose we are.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the support everyone !!!!!!!
> 
> Edit: holy crap I’ve never gotten this much kudos in my life! thank you to everyone for reading and being so lovely and supportive <3 <3 <3


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